I just have to share… I am REALLY struggling to write right now.
I know what I have to write, I want to write, but I have to write the climax at this point. I’ve reached my climax chapter. This is what I am worst at as a writer. I have a lot of strengths, but plot has always been what I struggle with the most- coming up with a real arc, and executing. This time I have one, and it’s strong. So here I am, in the thick of the plot. Every time I open my documents, I see I have to get through this hardest part to get to what I want to write again. And it’s so difficult that I keep thinking of other stories to write, and opening old documents from other book attempts I’ve written and rereading those. I read an entire 160-page story I wrote in 2010, which was very dated and messy and indulgent, yet made me want to rewrite the damn thing and work on that instead of FINISH my current project. My artist aunt says she struggles with the same thing, where she wants to switch to a new painting or collage when she’s in the middle of one and at that hard point. And yet she finishes whole paintings. She may have tons of half started and unfinished ones that weren’t worth the effort (she may; I don’t know- I’ll ask her when I visit next week) like I do, but I know this one IS worth finishing. I’m closer to the end of a project than I’ve been since Into The Ocean. So here I am on my blog, writing about the difficulty I’m having rather than sucking it up and diving back into my story. I have a detailed outline. I have an end in sight. I have exciting chapters ahead of me. But I just struggle to really ruin my character’s life and create that symphony of conflict before a nice ending wrapped in a bow.
I have to finish this climax by Sunday night. That’s my goal. I have to get my head in the game!
Here I go. Wish me luck.